Upsetting news

Oh, I have some not-so-good news. I had another miscarriage over Memorial weekend. You remember here I talked a little bit about the blood clotting disorder I have. I said then that if I had another miscarriage, I would look into going on blood thinners. So, having had another one, I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss options. Now the thing with blood thinners is, they are a twice daily injection. I have a HUGE fear of needles. But, I said I'm willing to get poked twice a day if it can help me carry a baby full term. However, about 8 years ago I was at the hospital for an I.V. transfusion for my headaches. When the nurse went to put the i.v. needle in me, I went into a seizure and stopped breathing for a few minutes.{That experience I will never forget!} Anyway, I'd only had one other seizure up to that point that I was aware of. We did tests, but they couldn't find anything wrong, or anything causing the seizures. My doctor said they were just something that happened. Luckily, I haven't had any since, that I'm aware of. My doctor said there's a good chance I have seizures in my sleep?
So, back to the blood thinner thing, after talking with my doctor and looking at past reactions I've had to needles, she said that she wouldn't advise me to go on blood thinners. Poking myself twice a day for ....who knows how long,{until I get pregnant and thru the pregnancy}, is just too many chances for me to have a bad reaction. It might trigger more seizures, which could be deadly. So, the baby aspirin and supplements I have been taking will keep the clots small enough that I should be safe. However, there is nothing more I can do to prevent clots from terminating my pregnancies. Does that make sense?
This takes me forever to explain, I know!
I'm so sad. What am I supposed to do? If we just continue doing nothing like we have been doing and leaving it in the Lord's hands, I could just continue to miscarry. I've had 7 total. I told Steve I'm almost at the point I can't take any more. But then what do I do? In order to prevent miscarrying, I'll have to prevent getting pregnant in the first place. I don't know if I can do that. Up till now, I've just said, let whatever happen, happen. Let nature take it's course. Leave it in the Lord's hands. But if I prevent getting pregnant, that's it! We'll be done having children. I guess I keep thinking that we were given one miracle, V. And I'm waiting for another miracle. But as I said, I'm almost at the end of my rope. I don't think I can emotionally handle too many more loses.
So right now, I don't know what to do. It is a very emotional and hard to decision that I don't want to have to make. But I'm going to have to eventually...
I know this is a sad, depressing post. But this is the latest. We are looking at the good to having only one child. We'll be able to afford to give her soo much more in life than if we had a larger family. Maybe someday we'll look at adopting. But not right now. Maybe we'll be a foster family, but that would be a few years from now.