As I think I've mentioned before, I have a love/hate relationship with blogging. I'd much rather "journal" my daily life through pictures and not have to write so much. But I cannot figure out how to post pics from my phone and our computer bit the dust a few months ago. But I really do need/want to be journaling better...
*The other day V. said to me that I was a trophy mom. That made me laugh! She said I'm such a good mom, I deserve a trophy. So not the same context as a trophy wife, but it still made me laugh!
* Our garden is starting to grow and it's exciting! Not being able to garden last year was hard, so I'm excited to be doing it this year and can't wait to eat some fresh, homegrown veggies!
* I started running again earlier this year.{And lost a little over 20 pounds!} I've been listening to my body and anytime my back started to hurt at all, I'd quit what I was doing. It was hard to baby my back last year but has definitely paid off! In May I ran a 5k Color run{on my birthday!} and I also ran a 5 miler in the foothills on Memorial Day. I had run this 5 miler 2 years ago and did it about 14 minutes faster this year! It feels so good to be running again and I've been happy that taking time off hasn't made too big of a
negative impact on my running.
* Every 2 years I'm due for a brain MRI and visit with my neurosurgeon. I had that done a few weeks ago. Dr. Reichman said my scans are spotless! And he said I can go 5 years in between MRI's and checkups now! It's been 14 years since I had my tumor removed. For there to be no sign of it now is exciting! I'm very blessed!
That's all I have time for today. I'll try to get on here to post about Steve and V's activities soon...

Childhood

Here I mentioned that V. had never had a REAL milkshake. Well, a few weeks before that happened, I was imitating Miss Piggy. V. said, " Who are you supposed to be?" I told her Miss Piggy. She looked at me confused. I said," You know, Kermit's girl friend?" I then imitated Kermit. V. just sat there looking at me. Then she said," I have no idea what you're talking about."
I thought, "What?! My child doesn't know Kermit and Miss Piggy?!" Come to find out, she didn't know any of the Muppets. So that weekend we watched the Muppet Movie {the old one} on Netflix and she loved it!
So...Now that I corrected the milkshake thing and the Muppets thing, I'm wondering,"What else does my child need to experience whilst still a child? What did I experience in my childhood that I want her to experience?"
So what do YOU think a child needs to experience while still a child? Please comment! I'd love to hear what you did as a child that you think/want your child to do!
{ One thing I HAVE taught her is to get a spoonful of peanut butter and stick m&m's on it and eat it! Sadly, she wasn't a huge fan of that. Although she does love peanut butter m&m's. }

 The other day I came across this quote on the internet. I quickly wrote it down but didn't write down where I found it or who said it. But I like it and thought I'd share~ " Your life story is a book, with good chapters and bad~ and anyone can survive one bad chapter to get to one that isn't."

10 years.

Today is our 10 year anniversary. Wow! A decade of life together in wedded bliss!

You can read here , here and here, and also here, {whew!} to see weddings pics, read all my sappy stories, etc. that I've posted on anniversaries past.
This year, I thought I'd try to show some pictures of us through the years. Unfortunately, when we were dating and the first few years of marriage we didn't have a digital camera. We didn't get one until after V. was born. We also didn't get a computer until after she was born.  So I don't have any of those older photos uploaded to our computer. They are in photo albums on the shelf. And we also weren't very good at taking photos of just US until the last couple of years. So here' s few photos, mostly family, of us over the past 10 years.
{If you want to see our photo albums, you are more than welcome to come over any day and thumb through them!}

2003.Our wedding day! We look so young!


 Then we jump to 3 years later{2006} after we got our digital camera and computer and started storing pics on it! We still look so young and V. was so cute and chubby!{ Steve was going through a grow-his-hair-out phase. He's gone through a couple of those...}

 Then 2007 rolls on in. This was 4th of July at the park and Zoo.{Steve's hair is short again. YAY!!!}

 2008. Nauvoo Temple. Steve was working in St. Louis for a couple of months and V. and I went and stayed 2 weeks with him during Thanksgiving. We took the opportunity to drive up to Nauvoo and see some L.D.S. Church History Sites. It was awesome!

.

 

 2009. Our first professional pictures done as a family. These were taken by our good friend Danica.

 And she took a photo of just us as a couple!

 Wow. 2010. V. took this photo of us on the North Pole Express ride we do every Christmas time. You can tell we are looking tired from the fun-filled day! {I could've swore we had nice family pictures done this year but I can't seem to find them. This was all I could find!}

 2011. Our trip to Jackson Hole. We love going every Autumn and had such fun this year!

 2012. We took these photos ourselves. We did the whole put-the-timer-on-the-camera-then-run-like-crazy-to-jump-in-the-photo! Not too shabby.

 V. actually took this one of us. She has some talent!

 

I don't have any pictures of us from this year uploaded yet. So that's it for now.

As I look back over these 10 years I see downs, mainly ups; trials but countless, countless blessings; heartache but also extreme joy. I feel very blessed for all the memories we've made.  Our love has changed over the last 10 years. Living life together, growing and changing together, experiencing hardships and good times together has made our love stronger and deeper.

Steve is my best friend. My confidant. My "woobie" {extra points if you can name the movie!}

He is my constant. He is my safe place.

I can't wait to see what the years ahead have in store for us. We have achieved many dreams and goals together but still have many more to reach and make happen. I can't imagine anyone I'd rather continue this journey with than with Steve.

Love ya lotsa hotsa!

*******Update******
After reading this to Steve he says I make it sound like we've had a rocky marriage. What I mean when I talk about the downs, the trials, the heartache and such, is life. Not our marriage. I mean the things we go through that's just a part of life. Financial struggles, family struggles, miscarriages, health, so on and so forth. Through it all we've grown stronger together and our love has grown.  Our trials help us grow. I'm just glad I have someone to grow with!

*So...after I had worked at the school the other day {um..week} I was trying to decide if I should apply to be a full time cook. I was weighing all the pros and cons. Talked with Steve about it. Prayed. Then, the following week, V. got sick. She had a bronchial infection. She was home from school for 2 days. That was my answer. If I go back to work, I'd have to worry about finding a sub for me on days that V. was sick. I don't want anything to get in the way of my first job and priority; being a mother.

So there you go. For right now, I'm just going to continue with my little crafting business and cook subbing. And as Steve reminded me, I have plenty of years ahead of me. This isn't permanent. I can always go back to work full~time some other time. Right now, I need to be available 100% for my girl.

And yes, I realize how incredibly blessed I am that I have the freedom and the ability to make this choice. I know a lot of moms who would love to stay at home with their children, but financially can't. I am very grateful that I can stay at home!
*On the last day of school I picked V. up and she was in tears. She was sobbing in the car the whole way home! I asked her what was wrong and she said she was so sad because she is really going to miss her teacher. That's the sign of a great school and a great teacher who really loves her class! V. has loved this school! And her teacher was fantastic! I'm sad she won't be V.'s teacher anymore as well! I hope next year her school is just as good and that she has another great teacher!
~To clarify things, yes V. will be in a new school next year. No, we are not moving. In our school district they have only 1 or 2 grades at each school. Until Junior High and High School. At first I thought this was all confusing and was like "what?" But when V. started Kindergarten it was actually very comforting knowing she was at a school with only Kindergartners and 1st graders. No older kids bullying younger ones. No influence from older kids. No being exposed to things that a child this age is to young to be exposed to. So anyway, we are done now with this school and she will be at a new school for 2nd and 3rd grade and then move on to another school after that!
 

You remember here I told you that I'd been hired by the school district as a substitute cook. Well, last week was my first day on the job! I got to work at the 2nd and 3rd grade school and loved it!I couldn't get there until an hour late because I had to take V. to school but it worked out! It's small enough that there was only me and the other cook, Amy. Turns out Amy used to be in Steve's family's ward! So anyway, we got along and I really enjoyed working with her.
When it came time to serve I loved seeing the kids from our ward come through and be all surprised to see me there! There were also a few kids that came through that said," I know you! You're V.'s, Mom!"  I LOVE being known as V.'s Mom!
In talking to Amy I found out that the other cook there is retiring after this school year. So that means there will be an opening for a full-time cook next year. And this is the school V. will be at for the next 2 years. So maybe I could work out bringing her with me at 7:00 and let her hang out in the kitchen until it's time to go to class. I'd get to see her every day at lunch. I got along great with Amy and I know I'd enjoy working with her. It all just kinda seems like more than coincidence.
I came home and was talking to Steve about it. I'd love to be able to make  a little bit of money and contribute a little to our finances and all.
Steve said to do whatever will make me happy.
He then went on to say that it is not my responsibility to provide for the family. That's his responsibility. That if I decide to go back to work to do it because I want to, not because I feel like I need to. We talked some more and talked about that yes, we would love to have more money to play with, to reach our life goals quicker, etc. But at the same time we are both happy and content with how life is right now. I worry if I did go back to work that I'd have less time to help in V.'s classroom and help with PTA stuff and less time to volunteer for things. Which are all things I really enjoying doing.  We also talked about how I really can't handle stress too well. And I stress out real easy. I worry if I did go back to work I'd become stressed out with everything going on on my plate. With wanting to still be active at V's school, my church calling, helping family out, etc. And Steve reminded me that I don't have to make a decision about going back to work right now. There's a lot of years ahead of me where I can work if I want to.
So I don't know. On the one hand I almost want to apply for the cook position and give it a try. But on the other hand, I know that I would miss the free time I have now to exercise, get my church callings done, help with family, help at the school,and do my crafting, and do all the other mommy and housewife things I do.
I'm so grateful that Steve is not pushing me one way or the other. He'll support whatever my decision is. I loved when he told me to do what will make me happy.
Anyway, I have alot to think about and pray about. I keep going back and forth with how I feel  about this.
 

witches, springtime, lawn mowing, ramblings!

*V. lately has been very complimentary towards my cooking. We'll be eating something store bought and she'll say something like,"Your food is way better than this, Mom." Or," I just want your cooking, Mom."
Anyway, it's very sweet of her. And makes me feel good! She also has been eating food she used to not to eat. Well, food she would eat as a baby/toddler then quit eating as a pre-schooler but is now eating again! Yay!
{But she still won't eat potatoes or red meat. She hasn't liked those since she could start eating solid foods.}
*Steve and his brother went to the Super Cross in Salt Lake this last Saturday. They had a lot of fun and had perfect weather! While they were gone V. and I had a fun day! V.'s teacher has been reading her class 'the Twits' by Roald Dahle and she really wanted to buy it. So we went to the bookstore and she used some of her allowance to buy it. Then we went to Winger's for lunch. When the waitress asked if we wanted dessert I was about to say no when V. piped up "yes!" So we had an Asphalt Pie. V. LOVED it! She was like," This is so good  Mom! Why haven't we had this before?" I was like," ummm....Dad and I eat this fairly often. But I guess we've always had it just us." Oops!
Anyway, then V. ran through the sprinkler a little bit. But she got cold within 15 minutes {because come on, it IS Idaho and only April }, so then she got in the tub and had a nice warm bath!
So all in all, a fun day!
*My back has been feeling better so I asked the chiropractor about when he thought I could start running again. He said that honestly he wouldn't recommend running until NEXT summer. What?! I'm pretty upset and disappointed. He said even though my back may feel better and I might feel okay running now, my disks won't be fully healed. And with my vertebrae pounding on each other there would be a good chance of hurting myself again. Possibly even worse than now. So to be safe I need to wait a year to make sure everything is healed fully. Then I can run all I want. Makes sense. But still.... I was contemplating doing a half-marathon this Fall. And I had other goals I wanted to reach this year. And now all those goals are out the window. When I DO start running next year I'll have to start all over with my training. *sigh* And plus, running was such a stress reliever for me. I always felt so much better and happier after a run. Oh well. I guess I need to find other ways to relieve stress and just focus on other goals and staying healthy and getting stronger.
I also asked about mowing the lawn. I usually do that while Steve is at work. I feel bad that Steve and V. have been having to do so much because I can't. Well, Dr. Ellis said sure I can mow the lawn! But I can't start the mower. The whole pull-start thing would not be good for my back. Great! So yes, I can mow the lawn but I still have to wait for Steve to get home to start it for me! Too bad V. isn't big enough to start it for me....
* Today marks my 13th anniversary of being brain tumor free! YAY! You can read more about that here. One of these years maybe I'll talk more about that week and how I felt and all. But not today.
I have MRI's and a doctor check up every 2 years. That is not this year, but next year. Last year though, the doc said everything looked good. So I guess we'll wait and see what he says next year!
* I went to the Temple this morning. I always love going to the Temple. I really love going with Steve, but no where does it say I can't just go by myself once in awhile. I feel uplifted, re-energized, re-focused and peaceful. That's the key word here, peaceful!
* Today is the first of May. And we had snow. It's funny that just a few days ago V. was running through the sprinkler and now we have snow! But what can I say, that's springtime in southeast Idaho for ya!
I also realized today, that being May means school ends this month! When I told V., she got all sad and said she didn't want to school to end because she loves her teacher so much. So cute! You know, I think I would be totally fine with year-round school. And I think V. would be fine as well! Just have 2ish weeks off in the Fall, Christmas, Easter and Summer time. I think it'd be fun!
I also think it'd be cool to go to boarding school! Now, I don't think I could part with V. and send HER to boarding school. But I would LOVE to go to boarding school in England, Switzerland, oh alright I'll say it, " HOGWARTS!" {V. would love to go there as well!}
* Speaking of magic, V. has really been into Harry Potter. However, she watched the 3rd one for the first time the other day and had nightmares and ended up crawling into our bed that night. I warned her it was one of the scarier ones, but she wanted to watch it so I let her.
She has been waving "wands" around and shouting magic spells at everything. Even while we are playing chess{which she is pretty darn good at, I might add} she points her wand at the chess pieces and shouts spells. Interestingly, she likes Ginny more than Hermione. She pretends she is Ginny, wants to be Ginny for Halloween and wants to buy a Ginny Weasly wand. I asked her why she likes her over H. and she said it was because Ginny has brothers. And she wants brothers. Awww!
And I think Ginny is a good role model. {So is Hermione.} So I love that she wants to be like Ginny!
Anyhoo, this has turned into a bunch of rambling. So I'll quit. For today. {this thought jumping around I do has me questioning if they put my brain back in correctly after that surgery 13 years ago...}

*Last night when Steve got home from work he came into the kitchen where I was preparing dinner and put his arms around me and kissed me and told me I was beautiful. Awww! I love how even though I've gotten fat and older he still compliments me and finds me beautiful! He also said he thought my hair looked real pretty {I hadn't washed it since the day before and had been to the gym so it was sweaty. But I DID curl it!}
The other night he said he loved how my skin smells. I was like, " hmm.....What does my skin smell like?" He said it smelled like I'd just washed with good smelling soap. .....So I guess my skin smells clean. That's good to know.
Anyhoo, I just love how he makes me feel good about myself and lets me know he loves me!

*Last night Steve also told me that if I end up having back surgery he'll be p.o.ed big time. At ME! He said I'll have brought it on myself.
He said all this after finding out I had vacuumed the house that day. As well as carried in groceries the other day. Etc, etc...
I told him how frustrating it is to sit around all day doing nothing and waiting for him and V. to get home and do my job for me. I mean, I'm a stay at home housewife and mother. It's my role, my job to take care of the house and everything. Then to be told that I can't do those things for a few months because of my stupid back is just..... I feel useless. Lazy. Frustrated. Anxious. Everything! I know I need to follow these restrictions so my back can heal. Steve said I need to let him and V. do those things for me. He says not to feel guilty asking for help. They WANT to help me out. I guess I'm just being too prideful...
I've also gained some weight. And all I can do is walk. A little of the elliptical. And I've been trying to eat better. But the weight just keeps going up. I can't wait till I can start jogging again. More frustrations....

*Tonight is Relief Society night . I'm so stressed. I always stress the day of R.S. night. I hate being in charge of things.{Yet I really am loving this calling! } And tonight we've invited the husbands AND the 3rd Ward to come as well. AND I'm singing. Stress, stress, stress. I just hope it all goes well, that people come away feeling uplifted and encouraged, and that I don't mess up this song. I don't have the melody written out. All I have are lyrics and a recording. So I've been listening to the recording over and over trying to get the melody stuck in my head! It's a very simple but lovely song.With a great message. Written by a girl I went to school with. Very talented gal. So anyway, I hope I do it justice!
 Glen Rawson is speaking to us tonight. And everyone's excited! He's like a local celebrity. When people are like," You know him?!"  I'm like, "yeah, he was my seminary teacher. He cool."  ;) No, but really, they say everyone has 1 or 2 leaders/teachers/adults in their young life that helps shape who they become and has an impact on them {aside from family members, of course!}. Bro. Rawson was definitely one of those to me. Through his teachings and stories and example I gained a stronger testimony of the Gospel. When life got hard, I was prepared spiritually to handle it. And my faith and testimony keep growing as I continue living life. {Some other teachers I had that I think had an impact on me was my Achievement day leader~Sis. Starzcky {s/p}, Young Woman leaders Sis. Rammell, Sis. Bitton, and Sis. Sorenson and my choir teacher~ Mrs. Mann.Plus many more! }
Anyway, Steve thought it was pretty cool when I approached our Bishop about having Bro. Rawson come speak to us and he was like,"Can you really get Glen Rawson?!" And I was said," He's an old friend. All I can do is call and see if he can come or not. No promises, as I know he's a busy man. But I'll ask."  But what Steve heard, " oh sure! Glen and I go way back! He's an old friend! I'll call him up!" Anyway, he thought that was cool....
{Bro. Rawson asked me to sing tonight. I didn't put myself in the program. I hope people won't think I'm trying to toot my own horn or something....}
*Sunday is Steve's Birthday. Just thought I'd put that out there...

March 26th

* Today as I was helping in V.'s classroom the school had a fire drill. So I got to walk outside with her class, holding her hand.

* It has been raining this afternoon and I LOVE it!

* V. has had no cheer, ballet or piano this week. Due to Spring breaks. But our Easter break starts on Thursday. So only 3 days of school this week as well. So, so far it's been a nice week and she is excited for the rest of the week! I think we'll dye Easter eggs on Friday. And she bought a little wooden birdhouse that I told her she could paint over the break. Steve wants to take us to lunch or dinner sometime this weekend. Other than that, it will be a slow, nice weekend.

* Speaking of Steve, I am wildly in love with him.....Just had to say that....

* My back has been feeling really good. Yay!! I'm hoping it just continues to get better from here on!

* I pre-ordered the Hobbit. We have been anxiously awaiting for it to arrive. Steve asks everyday if it has arrived. I got it for a good price by pre-ordering it but waiting for it is driving us nuts!Any day now....

* Next week Steve's family will be in town. We can't wait to see them. Especially our new nephew!!

First day of Spring!!

I can't think of a better way to welcome the first day of Spring then by having a spring rain today! No snow, but rain! Okay, it started out as rain then went to a rain/snow mix. But then turned back into rain! I had the heat off for a couple of days. But last night it got just a little too chilly so I turned the heat on just a bit. But I'm hoping in the next few days it will warm up enough to turn the heat all the way off again.

Yesterday we had our lawn care guys come and to their de-thatching, Spring clean up, trimming, etc. The yard looks all clean and neat and ready for warmer weather! It looks so nice!

I am just itching for warmer weather!!

 

Uneven wrinkles

V., her cousin and I in front of the Mesa Temple

Taken in Arizona, September 2012

As I'm starting to get older, I'm starting to get wrinkles. Which I'm okay with. Wrinkles are a sign of living life. Laugh lines. Worry lines. Memory lines. I am grateful I am blessed to be living to the age to start getting wrinkles!
I am starting to notice however that the wrinkles around my eyes are not the same. I have more/deeper wrinkles around my left eye than I do around my right one. The only explanation I can think as to why this is happening is that it must have something to do with the fact that I still have a small amount of paralysis on the right side of my face. { you can read about why I have paralysis here }.
Yes, I do feel like I can move my eyebrow more, smile bigger etc. But I think there is always going to be some unhealed nerve damage to that side of my face.
It has me curious to see how my face will look as I continue ageing. Will one side of my face be full of deep wrinkles and the other side be not quite as wrinkly? Who knows! I guess we'll see in another 20 years what happens!

Today's thoughts....

* Last night my dream was in black and white. I vaguely remember Cary Grant, Frank Sinatra and Will Smith. That's it. That's all I remember!
* The wind has been howling non-stop since sometime last night. Even now, I can hear it blowing the snow against the windows. But it almost sounds more like a rain sound then snow...I just checked. It's snow. Just harder sounding I guess.
* My back has been feeling better the last few days! I'm hoping this means that as I continue taking it easy my back will continue to heal!
Steve and V. have been so good! V. has been vacuuming for me, helping me carry in groceries, and helping to remind me to not lift this or that. Steve has been taking out the garbage, carrying laundry around for me, and all sorts of other stuff!
I hate being more dependant on them, but am so grateful for them!
* Steve and his dad gave me a priesthood blessing the other night. I am so grateful that Steve honors his priesthood and actively exercises his priesthood power. I know that my back will heal if I follow my chiropractors advice, and have faith that the Lord will help with the healing process if I follow His promptings, and guidance.
* Here in a little bit we are going to go for a drive in the truck. We enjoy sometimes just driving around as a family. There should be some awesome snow drifts to drive through!

Bits and Pieces of our Life from 2011

 I found this draft of a post from 2 years ago. It's a glimpse into what was going on in our lives then.~

Wow. V. just showed me up in the pushups department. I can, of course, do more than her. But I struggle with it. She gets on the floor and just BAM! BAM! BAM! 3 in row without breaking a sweat! ~March 19th.

I registered my baby for Kindergarten today.They took us all into a big room.Then asked all the kids who are starting Kindergarten to come to the front.I thought we were going to clap for them or something.Nope.They took the kids out into another room.I was like,Wait!!What?! We aren't going to do this together? Wait! I didn't say goodbye to her! Wait! WAIT! They took my baby away from me. I had no warning.How mean...But she came back to me all smiles and full of talk about what she did. And I signed up for the PTA. I'm growing up. WE are growing up!I don't know if we're ready for this next phase in life as a family. PTA, Parent/Teacher Conferences, homework, school lunches,etc. Alot of changes are gonna be happening this Fall!~March 17th.

We just bought our DisneyLand vacation package! Later this week I'll have to make some phone calls to reserve a couple of things, but we are just about all done with the vacation planning stuff. Now we just wait for May to come!~March 13th.

I have many Valentine memories. One of my favorites?
Valentines Day Morning,6 years ago, after a year of trying, we found out we were pregnant! Probably the best Valentines gift I ever recieved!
And she is one of my biggest sweethearts!{Steve is the other!}~Feb 14th

This morning V. came down stairs while I was riding the bike and told me she had done something for me.
"What did you do for me?" I asked.
"I made your bed all by myself!" she said.
What a sweetheart!
However, our bed certainly looks like a 5 year-old made it! ~ Feb. 4th.

You know it's cold outside when you have to kick and pound your front door open~ Feb 3rd

Being one step closer to Financial Freedom is a wonderful feeling! And, as we are paying off our debt, we are contributing MORE to Steve's 401K than before. So we are preparing for our future as well as gaining our Financial Freedom!
{Now I've probably jinxed us and something gonna's come along that demands our money!}~ January 15th

So V. and I are sick. I'm slowly losing my voice. I talked to Steve on the phone a little bit ago.
He says,"Man! You sound like crap!"
Gee.... Thanks honey.
"You sound like a different woman!"
Again, thanks honey. ;)
~ January 3rd

Today my Grandpa Hill turned 80! We had a birthday party for him with family. I was thinking about all the fond and fun memories I have of him from since I was a little girl to now. I'm grateful for those memories and I'm glad that V. is making memories with her Great-Grandpa as well! ~January 1st 

 

Randomness

* I walked 3 1/2 miles this morning, since running and Zumba are out for a while. Man. I didn't realize I was addicted to running until it was taken away from me! It was so hard to restrain myself this morning. I kept just wanting to break out into a jog. A light jog. Only for 5 minutes! But no. I didn't give in. I just walked. {But I did speed walk!}

* I asked V. this morning if she was getting dressed. She responded," Well, I WAS getting dressed. But then my eyes got stuck. So I stopped."
When I asked her what that meant, she said, with her eyes staring off into space, " You know, my eyes were just like this."
*sigh*

* After yesterdays post I wanted to clarify that yes, I DID watch Downton Abbey to the very end. Yes. I saw what happened. But in yesterday's post I was talking about what I felt and thought during the one happy scene. Before the end happened. I'm sad about the end.


* I also had the thought yesterday about how everyone is always like "I need to find me a Mr. Darcy." or " I wish Mr. Darcy was real." or stuff like that.
And I thought to myself," I don't need a Mr. Darcy. I have a Mr. H.  And he's perfect for me!"
Just thought I would share that thought.....

* This morning while reading my scriptures I came across 3 separate lines that stuck out to me.
The first being found in 2nd Nephi 1: 15 ".......I am encircled about eternally in the arms of His love." I love that scripture. Very comforting.
The second scripture is in 2nd Nephi 1: 21 and 23 "......Arise my sons...be men, and be determined in one mind and one heart, united in all things...", ".....put on the armor of righteousness..."
I wish all young men would read these 2 scriptures and take them to heart. THAT is the definition of a true man!
The last scripture I wanted to share I found in 2nd Nephi 2:4 ".......the Spirit is the same, yesterday, today, and forever....and Salvation is free."
Did you hear that? Salvation is FREE! All you have to do is accept Christ and follow Him and His teachings. That's it! As my daughter would say," Easy peasy lemon squeezey!"
* I love listening to Classical music while exercising outdoors. There's just something about feeling your heart pumping, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face and maybe the breeze on your cheek, breathing in fresh air, and listening to Paul Potts sing Nessun Dorma. {Or just any classical music!}
You feel like the heavens have opened and you feel like a chorus is singing "AHHHHHH!!!!!" And life is Beautiful! I can only desrcibe it as a very spiritual feeling!
* I think I'll make a brownie recipe I found on Pinterest today. As well as a Pinterest crockpot recipe.

 

My Happily Ever After

I was watching the season Finale of Downton Abbey. At the end when Mary, Matthew and the baby are together, I thought to myself," They are so happy. They are so in love. Their lives are perfect!"
Then I immediately thought back a few nights ago when Steve and I were having a conversation. And he told me how deeply in love he is with me. How incredibly happy he is with life. How I'm his best friend, he finds me extremely sexy, and how life with V. and I are perfect to him.
Maybe this is a little TMI. But these were things I was needing to hear. I have low self-esteem and am incredibly self-conscious of my body. Like, real self conscious. Yes, I've given birth and been through pregnancy {many times} life takes a toll on ones body. But I think the reason I am so self conscious is that I gained 40 pounds the first 5 months of marriage{from birth control}. So in a way, I feel like I lost my sexy body even before having a child. I shouldn't have lost my figure that quickly. But throughout our marriage Steve has always made me feel beautiful. And has always made me feel loved. But for some reason this last week having him say that I was lovely and sexy and the best thing in the world to happen to him really, really was needed and appreciated.
I also thought back to when V. was born. And how Steve and I were so over-the-moon happy to have her join us. I loved watching Steve with her. He was so gentle and sweet.
I also thought back on all the memories we have made together and/or as a family.
So what I'm getting at here but taking forever to say, is that while watching a fictional couple living their happily ever after, I realized how I am living MY Happily Ever After. I am perfectly content with my life.  Perfectly at peace.  Perfectly happy.

My Thankful November

Day 1} I am so thankful for a husband who does so much for us, for me.
Day 2} I am Thankful V. has been out of school the last 2 days. I've enjoyed not having anything to do but sleep in, hang out and just being together!
Day 3} I am Thankful for a lovely daughter who has taught me every aspect there is to Motherhood.
Day 4} I am Thankful for the opportunity V. and I had to listen to a beautiful violinist last night.{ Jenny Oakes Baker} I'm grateful we had the means to attend, grateful we have the gift of hearing so we could enjoy the music, grateful for the gift of music, and grateful for a wonderful person who is a great example to my young daughter and young ladies everywhere!
Day 5}  I am Thankful for my crockpot. We had a busy evening but it was nice to come home to a yummy smelling home and a delicious hot meal!
Day 6} Today I am Thankful I have the right to vote! I love this country I live in!
Day 7} I am Thankful for the opportunity I had to go to the Temple today. And I'm Thankful we have one so close to us.
Day 8} I am Thankful for the wonderful sisters in my ward!
Day 9} I am Thankful for beautiful snow!
Day 10} Even though it was freezing cold, I am Thankful I had the health and ability to run a 10k this morning.
Day 11} I am so, so Thankful for Steve working hard to provide for us and enabling me to stay at home with V.
Day 12} I am Thankful for movie nights with my hubbie!
Day 13} I am Thankful that I can help in V's classroom every week. I absolutely love it!
Day 14} I am Thankful for the opportunity to serve others.
Day 15} I am Thankful that my daughter has a teacher who loves and cares for her. V. loves school and is just soaking it all up!
Day 16} I am Thankful for modern transportation.
Day 17} I am Thankful for wonderful extended family members!
Day 18} I am Thankful for gospel doctrine/teachings discussion moments with my little girl.
Day 19} I am Thankful for the beauty of Nature and the sound of rain!
Day 20} Today I am Thankful for a loving Father in Heaven who is always there, just a prayer away.
Day 21} I am Thankful for the love of my family.
Day 22} Today I am Thankful for all the many blessings in my life. I am honestly so blessed!
Day 23} I am Thankful I was able to take a little bit of time for myself today!
Day 24} I am Thankful we live close to my parents and could come over to help them put up Christmas!
Day 25} I am Thankful for the sweet innocence and simplicity of my daughter's faith in Heavenly Father.
Day 26} I am Thankful for whoever took the time to answer V.'s letter to Santa. They help make this time of year so magical!
Day 27} Have I already said this? I am so Thankful for the Plan of Salvation and the knowledge that families are forever. I LOVE my family and am Thankful we will be together always!
Day 28} I am Thankful for my wonderful parents!
Day 29} I am Thankful for the sound of laughter in my home!
Day 30} I am Thankful for the wonderful friends I have in my life!

My Thankful November

The last 3 years, during the month of November, I have posted something I am thankful daily. I have had this list on the sidebar until the month is over. Here  and here are my lists from the last two years.
Much of the posts are the same every year. But it really does help me recognize all I am blessed with when I make these lists! This last month our truck broke down and needed a new transmission, my vacuum broke, V.'s closet door broke and we can't find a part for it, a bookcase fell apart, and the list seems to go on. But we have also realized the last couple of weeks just how blessed we are! We are all safe, healthy and warm and have food in our cupboards. I thank my Heavenly Father for all He has given me. And I am so thankful for all me blessings!
I Give Thanks for~
Day 1} I am Thankful for the example of others. Today I helped a friend, with her sons, who is in a wheelchair and has been through so much in the last 2 years. Talking with her was very spiritually uplifting.When life's trials happen, you can choose to become bitter or choose to have faith in the Lord. She has chosen to have faith. She is a wonderful example to me!
Day 2} I'm Thankful for friends who help me understand how to use my computer!
Day 3} I'm Thankful that V. is old enough to help with housework. And does it well enough that I don't have to redo it after her! {for the most part I don't have to redo it} And she helps with a smiling attitude and talks my ear off while helping me!
Day 4} I'm Thankful for my daughter who, while driving with me in the dark and blowing snow where I can barely see anything and just want to cry because I HATE driving in the dark and the snow and am scared, decides to bear her testimony to me. Such a sweet reminder that the Lord is always with me and is aware of my needs, and fears. I need not be afraid with Him by my side.
Day 5} I'm Thankful for a husband who drives me to town because it's snowing and I HATE driving in the snow!{See Day 4}.
Day 6} I am Thankful for a husband and daughter who helped me deep clean the house this weekend without complaint! I think a good 'Spring' cleaning should be done in the Fall as well, now our house is spic and span for the Holidays!!!
Day 7} I am so Thankful for our Home. It keeps us warm and safe from the cold winter!
Day 8} I am Thankful that we can buy our daughter a warm, thick winter coat, nice snow boots, and gloves and a warm winter hat. It is starting to be sooo cold here! But I'm glad to know when she goes outside for recess she is warm and dry!
Day 9} Today I am Thankful for who ever invented the crock-pot. And I'm Thankful I have a crock-pot! It's going to be a busy afternoon but it's a wonderful feeling knowing that we will have a really nice, hot, homemade meal tonight because I can put it in the crock-pot now!
Day 10} I'm Thankful for Relief Society nights. And the women who put in all the hard work to make them happen! I enjoyed a nice evening visiting, eating, learning about pie making, and see different gift ideas. A very pleasant evening indeed!
Day 11} Today is Veterans Day. I am Thankful for all the men and women who have served our country. We have many family members who have served. And my younger brother is currently serving in the army now. Thanks to everyone who have kept my family and my country safe!
Day 12} I am Thankful for the unconditional love of my daughter. She loves me on my bad days and good days. There is nothing that is sweeter to me than when she puts her arms around me, gives me a kiss and tells me she loves me!
Day 13} I am Thankful for music! I'm grateful I have a somewhat decent voice and could sing in the Stake Choir today at Stake Conference. Our last song I felt the spirit so strongly! It was a beautiful Conference and I'm grateful I could be a part of it!
Day 14} I am so Thankful Steve has a job. A job that enables me to stay at home with V. With today's economy, we are so very blessed to have what we do!
Day 15} I'm Thankful for a little daughter to call my own! I love getting her up in the morning, making her breakfast, doing her hair, getting her all bundled up and driving her to school. And I'm so glad that she still gives me a hug and a kiss when I drop her off!
Day 16} I am so Thankful for my Savior. I know He loves me. And I am so Grateful that He atoned for my sins so I can be forgiven of my sins and live with my family forever!
Day 17} I am Thankful that I am able to be involved in my daughter's school. I am Thankful that I can help in her classroom every week.
Day 18} I am Thankful for the opportunity we had to take Steve's mom and go as a family to watch our High School Football win State!It was a fun evening!
Day 19}I am Thankful for electricity. We went without power for about 3 1/2 hours this afternoon. I was so grateful when it came back on! The house was starting to get cold!
Day 20}I am so, so Thankful for my Heavenly Father. I am grateful he planned a way for us to come home to Him! I am grateful to know of His love for me!
Day 21}I am Thankful for my warm, soft bed to snuggle in and get a good nights sleep!
Day 22}I am Thankful for our car! Steve's truck broke down, but we are blessed to have another vehicle!
Day23}I am Thankful that all three of us are healthy and safe. Steve has a co-worker who was in a car accident with his family. The children are fine, but he and his wife are in serious condition. I hope and pray that they will be alright! It seems like we've had some bad luck lately, but at least we have each other and our health!
Day24}I am so Thankful for all our family members! 'Friends may come and go. But Family is Forever!'
Day25} I am Thankful that Steve has been able to spend the last couple of days with us as a family!
Day26} I'm Thankful that Steve's brother and family were able to come down and spend some time with this weekend. V. loves her cousins!
Day27} We are so grateful for a wonderful neighbor who noticed Steve's truck missing and came over and handed him the keys to his Cadillac and told Steve he could use it until our truck was fixed. Now V. and I don't have to get up at 5 in the morning to drive him to the bus stop! Such wonderful neighbors!
Day 28}I am Thankful for the opportunity to see a friend and her kids before she left for Boise for a few weeks. V. and I had so much fun with Stephanie and her boys!
Day 29}I am Thankful for Relief Society and Visiting Teaching. I get to know the sisters in the ward so much better thru visiting with them. And I learn much wisdom from them during these visits!
Day 30} I am so Thankful for all the many blessings the Lord has given me and my family! We are truly blessed!

Gabe's Gifts

So I was blog hopping the other day and found this blog. I started scrolling thru her blog and found this following post. It really touched me and made me cry...
Amanda~
I've never blogged about this, because I have rarely talked about it. However, I knew that I wanted to do something positive. And in order to do that... I have to share my story.

Earlier this year I was pregnant. And over the moon excited. We moved so the baby could have his own room. We started buying baby stuff. We told our friends and family. We picked out a name. Everything was going well. In fact that day I had bought a new stroller. My due date? My birthday.

At the time, I was a part time manager at Gymboree. I went into work that night and came home as usual. Andy left for work when I got home (He works 3rd shift). I fell asleep on the couch, but kept having horrible dreams. Something was wrong. I prayed. Somewhere I had heard that a Mother's prayer for her children was one that GOD listened to with the most urgency. I tried to tell myself it was nothing. A few hours later I knew, I was losing our baby.

I didn't call Andy. I couldn't tell him, mostly because I couldn't say the words myself. I just laid there crying. Praying. And then yelling - I wasn't sure GOD had heard me. When Andy got home he rushed me to the hospital. We lost our little boy, Gabriel Austin Smith, on August 28.

I walked into the hospital pregnant. And later that day, I left. Childless. I was tired. I was in shock. I was sad. I was angry. I was frustrated.

Healing has been hard. Not a day goes by that I don't think of our baby. I have an extra room in our house with baby clothes hung up in the closet. My craft stuff thrown in the closet in the front room. I just can't bring myself to turn the baby's room into anything other than a baby's room. My faith was tested beyond testing. I couldn't understand. Why had GOD taken away my baby, but given babies to people who don't take care of them? And if something was wrong with my baby, why hadn't GOD just healed him? I know he has the power to do so!

I quit my job. {I was planning on quitting, but losing Gabe made me do so earlier. It killed me seeing people come in and with their babies buying the same clothes that I have hanging in his closet. Pregnant women were everywhere. And I was no longer one of them.} That's when I started blogging. It's given me some sort of refuge.

Everyone (well, a lot) of people told me, "It's ok. You're young. You can try again." I know that during a time like this people don't know what to say. But, that was not what I wanted to hear. It made me feel like I was just supposed to forget. A do over. Like how Joshua erases a mistake on his homework. I vowed that I wouldn't forget. And that I would do something -- something that would make Gabe proud. Something that when I say his name I associate it with goodness, not tragedy.

So I decided to start a blanket drive. Have you heard of Project Linus? Their mission is mission to provide love, a sense of security, warmth and comfort to children who are seriously ill, traumatized, or otherwise in need through the gifts of new, handmade blankets and afghans, lovingly created by volunteer “blanketeers.” I can't think of a better way than to honor Gabe.

Starting in January (well, you can start making one now!) Gabe's Gifts will begin. It is a year long blanket drive. Each Monday I will feature a blanket tutorial and the last Monday of each month we can host a linky party showcasing any blankets made. I am in the process of creating tags for you to print off and fill out with your blanket (including what it's made of, any special washing instructions, your name and email if you wish). As you finish your blankets I ask that you mail them to me and I will make one large donation in Gabe's name. (Also why I am making tags! I want you creative ladies to get the credit you deserve on your awesome work!) Also, if there is a special child you would like your blanket to be donated to honor please include that information with your blanket. I can't speak for everyone, but even just trying to put together this project - knowing something good will be attached to Gabe's name has helped the healing process more than I can express.

If you are a blogger and have a blanket tutorial (can be crochet, knit, how to bind, quilt patterns, sewing tutorials) and would like it featured please e-mail me.

I would also REALLY appreciate anyone taking Gabe's button (top left corner) and helping pass the word along for me! I'm hoping to have enough blankets to make the first donation on my birthday and Gabe's due date (3/14). I know that it is going to be a hard day for me and this would really help.

I know I pledge to make at least 12 blankets. One each month to donate. I hope I can count on you to help too! Thanks for reading this -- I know it's long. But I don't think you know how much I really appreciate it. :)

Any questions, comments, tutorial submissions or for my address to send in a blanket please e-mail me: amandaandandy(at)yahoo(dot)com

Okay, it's Mary again. Isn't this such a heart breaking story? Maybe it affects me so much because I've suffered losing a baby/babies as well. I think it is absolutely wonderful that she has found a way to honor the memory of her lost baby, and a way to heal thru helping others. I'm not the best sewer, but I think I might make one or two blankets to donate to Gabe's Gifts. If you want to help, just contact her.
It makes one feel good to know they are helping another person. They always say to lose yourself in the service of others. Maybe I need to 'lose myself' more and focus on helping those within my reach. It might help me heal a little myself as well. And I want to involve V. in giving service. We are so blessed and I want her to grow up with it being second nature to help those you can. I'll find a way to have her help me make a blanket or two this year to give to another child.
Maybe this can be our theme this year. Just try to help others more. I think that's a good idea. And serving others brings us closer to God. Which is also a wonderful thing. I think it's going to be a good year.

My Thankful November

Last month I posted on my sidebar about the things I am Thankful for. I wrote something every day. I thought I would share my months worth of blessings all in one simple post~
The simplest things remind us of all that we have to be thankful for ....
1} I'm thankful for my beautiful family!
2} I'm thankful for this beautiful earth God has created for us!
3} I'm grateful for V.'s little friends that she plays with!
4} So, so grateful that Steve has a job.
5} I'm grateful for the knowledge of Eternal Families.
6} I'm grateful for a big, warm, cozy bed V. can snuggle in and watch movies when she's not feeling well.
7} I'm grateful for lazy Sunday Mornings spent as a family!
8} I'm thankful we have a warm, safe home to give us shelter.
9} I am thankful for good friends.
10} Iam thankful for my senses. Thankful I can taste sweet treats,savor the taste of a delicious meal. Smell snow in the air, or enjoy the smell of rain, smell bread baking in the oven. Hear laughter in my home, hear my hubsands' or daughters' sweet voices, Hear them say "I love you'. Enjoy the feel of a kiss or warm embrace, or feel the texture of my daughters hair as I style it daily, feel my daughters small hand in mine.Thankful I can see Mother Natures beauty around me, see my daughters' smile and the color of her beautiful eyes.
11}I am thankful for the men and women who sacriface their time, and in some cases, their lives for our freedom.
12}I am thankful for the love of one of Heavenly Fathers little angels.
13} I am so thankful the Lord gave me a miracle, my daughter. I am so grateful she is a part of our lives.
14} I am thankful my Saviour prepared a way for me to be with my family for Eternity.
15}I am thankful for running water and electricity. I'm so happy I can go to the bathroom in my house, and flush it all down the drain!
16} I am so grateful for a running car! I would hate to walk, or ride a horse on this cold, windy, wet day!
17} I am thankful for the love of a wonderful man, my husband!
18}I am thankful for telephones to help me stay in touch with family and friends!
19}I am grateful that we have full cupboards. Grateful that my daughter never needs to worry about her next meal.
20} I am thankful I have the health and energy to play in the snow with my little girl!
21} I am grateful to live in such a beautiful part of the world!
22}I am thankful that we only drive 5 minutes to go to church. I know some people travel far distances to get to church!
23}I am Thankful for our food storage. We don't have a 2 year supply, but we do have a good amount of food and supplies saved up. Today we are all at home because of a Blizzard storm warning. All the roads are closed and most offices and bussinesses are closed as well. It is nice to know that if we got snowed in for a week or two we would be fine because of our supplies and food we have saved up!
24}I am Thankful for a husband who does handy work around the house with V. following his every move. Hopefully she'll learn from him and be able to take care of herself when it comes to things like that!
25} I am Thankful for loving parents!
26} I am Thankful for family and extended family!
27} I am Thankful Steve shot his elk again this year. It's nice to know we have a freezer full of meat. It saves money on our grocery bill to not have to buy it monthly!
28} I am thankful that we can afford to have me stay at home with V. I love being a stay at home mother! So many people struggle and have to have both parents work just to make ends meet. Again, I'm grateful Steve has a job and that it is enough for me to stay home!
29}I am grateful for all the snow we have gotten! It is so beautiful and hopefully it helps with our water situation for the crops next year!
30} I am Thankful for and Believe in the power of the Priesthood!

My Thankful November, 2010

Last year I started a new tradition with myself that I want to do again this year. This month is Thanksgiving. But instead of focusing my gratitude on only 1 day, I'm going to be thankful EACH day. I've added a list to my sidebar titled 'My Thankful November'. Each day this month, I will add one more thing I am thankful for. Doing this last year really helped me realize how blessed I really am. I think it's time to remind myself of all my blessings!